@KPsych29: I always wear black. That way I'm ready, at any given moment, for an impromptu night out or your funeral, whatever.
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@bridger_w: This burned out sign has given me the permission I need to take care of my neighborhood grocer once and for all
@NeinQuarterly: Danke for calling Germany. To order beer, press 1. To order weapons, press 2. To order philosophy, press 1 until it resembles a 2.
@weinerdog4life: Sex is a lot like Mario Kart, you go really fast, you throw some bananas, Wario is there.
@Adam14: When people say "Let's not get off on the wrong foot here", I reply "Please don't get off on either of my feet".