@KingRainhead: i always wear this epi pen its rly special. my friend gave it to me literally as he was dying it seemed very important to him that i have it
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@Ygrene: [God Creating Dads] God: Ah, yes. Think I'm done Dads: Hi Done, we're Dads! God: Dads: God: *creates the adjustable thermostat*
@RockabillyJay: If fire shoots out of the chimney the Papal Conclave has selected a new drummer for Slayer.
@KingRainhead: boy: you have really pretty eyes... me: *suspicious* thank you...??? boy: *leans in slowly* me: NO!!!! You cant have them!!!!!
@SondraDeeMe: [job interview] What experience do you have plucking chickens? Me: See all those hairs on my chin? No. Me: Exactly.