@aaronnemo: I am a kid at heart and a 52 year old coal miner at liver.
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@marcus_sullivan: Idk y men go to bars to meet women? Go to Target. The female to male ratio is 10 to 1 and they’re already looking for things they don’t need
@BobTheSuit: Job interview with the NSA Applicant: Would you like references? NSA: We have everything we need. App: You guys! NSA: I know, right!
@pixelatedboat: It's bullshit that dogs get their own heaven but we humans have to go to the same heaven as moths and tractors
@MikeCanRant: Summer Safety Tip: Before swimming in the ocean, cover yourself in gluten to lower the chances of being eaten by health conscious sharks.