@Dawn_M_: I am a woman, hear my eyes roll.
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@sad_tree: *hit man puts on silencer* *shoots gun* Gun: YOUR HAIR SMELLS NICE LIKE MY MOMS Wth? *looks at case* Oh I brought the awkward silencer
@BCMontgo: Boss: You're Me: Doing great? B: No, I'm letting you M: Have the corner office? B: go. M: Why? B: Constantly completing my sentences wrong.
@mrjohndarby: [arriving in hell] devil: all the pringles you can eat, but only with a knife and fork *evil laugh* me: *starts eating* devil: wait, how?