@Petote: I am bored. Anyone need anything avenged?
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@RandomRamblr: She believed me when i said concentration camps were for people with Attention Deficit Disorder.
@Brianhopecomedy: I texted my wife with "ROTFHAHA" & she replied with "LMAO" so I don't think she understands that I'm having a heart attack.
@EndhooS: "How did you get those scars?" [Flashback to me running into a glass door] They're from Cage fighting.
@carlyken: Friend apologizes for mess. Friend has immaculate house. Open her closet. Out comes 78 books, a piano and a gentleman squirrel in a top hat.