@JermHimselfish: I am constantly putting things where they don't belong, like the cereal in the fridge or my keys in the laundry or my faith in other people.
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@sarcasm_inc: *The Terminator opens a fortune cookie. "It is ok to kill many people. Many killings are coming your way." John: I know it doesn't say that.
@EndhooS: Wife: He's just so literal all of the time, he gets so confused Psychiatrist: Is this true? Me: [worried] Are u really gonna make me shrink?