@batkaren: I am definitely too firmly grounded in the space-time continuum to park here
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@LackOfShame: [their last appetizer] Her: I don't want it. You have it. Him: I don't want it either, you... Me: *reaches onto their table and takes it
@UnFitz: [first date] Her: So what do you do? Him: I'm a scientist. Her: Cool. What kind? Him: Mad. *electrical storm begins outside*
@ibid78: *shaves 'I ❤ Dogs' into my chest hair for the Westminster Dog Show but just as I take my shirt off a car full of cats rolls up*
@motrboatr: I do feel bad for some of you who complain about all the unwanted attention you get on Twitter. Maybe you should try notepad, or word.