@dril: i am developing a ground brekaing new app called "MOneyWallet", where you earn "Money Points" by mailing cash to my house
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@ArfMeasures: [customs] "Passport?" *I lift up my bag & a severed head falls out* ME: OH NO OH GOD *still rummaging through bag* ME: I've forgotten it
@OhNoSheTwitnt: Trump: 🎶 Do you wanna build a snowman? 🎶 Elsa: Who will pay for this snowman? Trump: 🎶 Ok byeee 🎶
@iinkedZombie: The horn quit working in my truck, so I'm hanging out of the window revving this chainsaw at pedestrians.
@teen_news69: PISSED: teen gets fed up with teacher "can i use the bathroom?" "i don't know, CAN you?" *takes deep breath* *pisses all over teachers desk*