@Home_Halfway: "I am doing well." - Russian man having sex with a well
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@ThaJawn: An air horn that looks like a febreze can so you will always know when someone shits at your house
@Jack_Wagon1: Remember that time when we got trapped on a ski-lift for 4 days, then the acid wore off and we were just sitting on my grandmas porch-swing.
@carlyken: *walks into work 20 minutes late* *boss glares at me* "Sorry. Traffic." *boss gestures to my Starbucks cup* "Oh this? I found it."