@Home_Halfway: "I am doing well." - Russian man having sex with a well
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@CrackYouWhip: Just saw a fat woman lick icing off of her sleeve so that is the last time I eat in front of a mirror.
@TheBeerGuy73: My therapist said that I needed to find healthier ways of expressing my anger. So I decided to jog home after setting fire to my ex's car.
@LOsepyan: If you play a NIickelback song backwards you'll hear messages from the illuminant.Even worse, if you play it forward you'll hear NIickelback
@just1fool: I just watched one bird chase another bird from tree to tree for five minutes. It was probably over a stolen tweet.