@BradBroaddus: I am fed up with all these incest jokes about us Kentuckians. It's offensive to me as well as Uncle Dad.
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@TheToddWilliams: [murder trial] LAWYER: So you unplugged your wife's life support for five minutes? COMPUTER TECH: Sometimes that works.
@AmishPornStar1: See ya later, alligator. After a while, crocodile. Catch ya mañana, little iguana.
@goulden_eye: Energizer bunny arrested. Charged with battery. LOL just kidding it was double homicide.
@13spencer: A Florida police dog is being fired after biting two people; but to be fair, who wouldn't want to hurt people from Florida?