@deardilettante: I am literally the only one at this baby shower who turned up with champagne & a coat hanger.
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@HoneyWooWoo: Once I get the creative juices flowing, I realize how disgusting that really sounds.
@TheNameIsBillyB: After reading about Rihanna's thug life tattoo, I think we all owe Chris Brown an apology.
@slaughthie: I asked when my gym membership was up and the dude said "day before Valentine's Day" like I'm some genius who knows when Valentine's Day is.
@Playing_Dad: "POLICE, COME OUT WITH YOUR HANDS UP." Show me a badge. *cop gets badge out* I didn't say Simon Says. "Let's go home guys. Sorry, my fault."