@deardilettante: I am literally the only one at this baby shower who turned up with champagne & a coat hanger.
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@hazelmotes1: When my kids come to me with problems I just tell them to watch Full House until they find an episode dealing with their issue.
@SadMeterologist: Police: How did they break in? Me: I have a fake garden rock w/a key inside. Police: They found it? Me: They threw it through the window.