@MyTweetLilLife: I am much less afraid of jail when I'm drunk.
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@myonlymizztake: Me: I'm ghosting him. Her: You stopped talking to him? Me: No, I'm showing up when he least expects it and scaring the shit out of him.
@shawnspree: Banned an 80 year old man for life from attending NBA games. What's that? Like maybe 10 years?
@jwoodham: Forrest Gump ran for 3 years, 2 months, and 14 days, which is approximately 3 years, 2 months, and 14 days longer than I've ever run.