@TheTweetOfGod: I am not a parody account. I am The Lord thy God, King of the Universe, and I am communicating by Twitter because My fax is broken.
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@DaveAmiott: Author: So, I've got this children's book. It's about a hungry caterpillar. Agent: Pass Author: A VERY hungry caterpillar. Agent: Go on...
@Tmoney68: I've been trying to figure out why I overslept today. Just realized drunk me set my calculator for $7.30.
@trevso_electric: Now marriage can be between any two people who are misguided enough to start a life together in New Jersey.