@VodkaThursday: I AM NOT HAPPY ABOUT ANYTHING. YOU ARE EVIL. I don't want to go in the swing!! NOOOOooooo.... okay. yeah. This works. I'll hang here. - Baby
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@DanMentos: [first date] "Tell me two interesting things about yourself" well I lie when I'm nervous… "ok…" and I invented oatmeal
@splendidcynic: I don't really pay much attention to politics so basically what I'm asking is, does anyone know if it's still illegal to sell kids on eBay?
@InternetHippo: Look, if you didn’t want to go to prison you should’ve started a war or destroyed the economy. But you downloaded a movie, you felon
@caperbc75: Do you think the guy responsible for squirting water in NFL players' mouths has "rehydration specialist" listed on his LinkedIn profile?