@VodkaThursday: I AM NOT HAPPY ABOUT ANYTHING. YOU ARE EVIL. I don't want to go in the swing!! NOOOOooooo.... okay. yeah. This works. I'll hang here. - Baby
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@HALFniteStand: "The past tense of LOL is not LOL'd, it's L'dOL." - How I like to end a date with 18-25 year old girls.
@Matt_The_1st: "Dad, these glasses make everything look much bigger!" *Snatches glass and hands to my wife
@iheartgunts: I’m chunky but I always wear activewear in public so that people think I’m at least doing something about it.