@TheVulgarVag: i am practicing how to die in photogenic positions
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@EmergencyQB: How much do you want to bet that the inventor of the Lazy Susan has an ex-wife named Susan?
@CollegeHumor: Apparently the Burger King account is suspended while they think of a stronger password than "horsemeat".
@othersome: I'm not the hero Gotham deserves. I'm Pete I work at Subway. Do u want extra meetballs.
@Brampersandon_: When I die I want my funeral to be closed casket but like half way thru someone opens the lid and surprise - it's a nacho bar inside