@ninjadinosaur1: 'I am your God, and now it is night!' I say as I turn the fish tank light off.
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@MissyMooMorris: One quality im not looking for in a potential partner is the ability to maintain a virtual farm
@Brianhopecomedy: *grabs knife, cuts forehead, lies on floor* Wife walks in: "WHAT HAPPENED?" "A burglar came in right when I was about to clean the house"
@gingerfaced: What do you mean you were really drunk? I already changed my Facebook relationship status for you.