@TravZA: I answer private number calls with: "Rent a Gent hello"
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@juliussharpe: SiriusXM is broadcasting NASCAR because there's nothing more exciting than listening to people drive.
@matt_travelling: Why do people say tunafish, rather than just tuna? Is that to differentiate from the tunacow and tunagiraffe?
@HomeProbably: The last time I was this drunk and covered in glitter, it had nothing to do with Christmas.