@StellaRtwot: I appreciate when aerobic instructors say "Don't forget to breathe" because I sometimes forget and then I die.
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@FuckabillyRex: Stop talking about being sad. Use a bigger word like despondent so people will at least think you're an intelligent cry baby.
@momthoughts13: Not one parenting book or website prepared me for how many times I would accidentally bump my baby's head on a door frame.
@mrsmith196645: Guys, if your lady tells you she needs windshield wiper blades, SHE DOES NOT MEAN FOR CHRISTMAS!