@AntozWolf: I ask myself, "How did I get here?," I'm sure my neighbors ask the same question every time they catch me in their house...taking a shower.
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@Iwriteforcats: Cats make the best boyfriends because they're soft, loyal, and won't claim they're straight but then turn gay after one lousy date, BRENT!
@Dwarven_Cleric: Darth Vader: "Listen Luke, this is a new arrangement for both of us. Let's not force things. Just let me know if you need a hand."
@DirtMcTurd: For years I thought the ghost in my house was trying to scare me, turns out he was just booing my awful jokes
@caliluvgirl77: "I trust my boyfriend, I would never go thru his phone" -girls who can't figure out boyfriend's passwords