@LilyRoseLynn: I asked my boyfriend "How pretty am I on a scale from 9.5-10?"
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@mochanya: Just watched a commercial...How is it possible that the side effect for asthma medication is shortness of breath?
@EliTerry: you can tell the new mad max movie takes place in a lawless post apocalyptic hellscape because not one person used their blinker
@Dani_Feld: When a relative asks me what I'm doing with my life, I tell more lies than a guy at a computer whose wife just asked him what he's doing.
@Sickayduh: "The Jetsons and Flintstones existed at the same time. One in the sky, one on the ground, and both in a post-apocal-" "Juror is dismissed"