@RobDenBleyker: I asked my dog to marry me and he said no. I am stuck in man's best friendzone.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@StrawburyDelite: Damn Shakira is doing Activia commercials too now. With all that belly dancing, you'd think she'd be able to shit. Who knew.
@sween: I can't imagine how stressed Americans are feeling right now. I'm Canadian and I'm chugging maple syrup and just punched a moose.
@jordan_stratton: I wonder what song the Little Mermaid was singing when she viciously ripped a clam in half to make a bikini top?
@KeetPotato: "dont get conned into spendin our lottery money" i wont [calls wife back] will 2 sharks fit in our pool? "NO" ok [to salesman] one shark pls