@RobDenBleyker: I asked my dog to marry me and he said no. I am stuck in man's best friendzone.
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@wendchymes: My boyfriend and I are into role playing-I pretend to be hotter and skinnier and he pretends not to be a Nigerian teen in an Internet cafe .
@bottlerocket: Twitter keeps throwing in "in case you missed it" on my timeline.... I've been on twitter for the last 16 hours, I didnt miss it.
@aparnapkin: What is it like to be a woman in comedy? I would say it's 1% jokes & 99% answering this question.