@ItsAndyRyan: I asked my wife for an audio book and she got me an encyclopaedia. That speaks volumes.
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@HeyZeus666: Some people will believe anything if you start with 'This is just between you and me'.
@CulturedRuffian: When one door closes, another one opens which is also one of the first signs you probably have a poltergeist.
@MrSpoonicorn: *cop slams bag of weed down on table* "EXPLAIN." "its not mine officer i swea- "oh quit the crap Bulbasaur we know you're the grass type"