@ItsAndyRyan: I asked my wife for an audio book and she got me an encyclopaedia. That speaks volumes.
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@squirrel74wkgn: Wife: Hit the light. *flicks switch (wrong light) *flicks another (fan) *flicks (disposer) *flicks (nothing) *flicks (some light in Canada)
@DrawingShadows: I am going to make millions when I finally finish developing this iPhone app that tells you when the traffic light turns green.