@tartadepollo: I asked this homeless lady if I could take her home. She said yes, so I walked off with her cardboard box.
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@Parentpains: When all else fails burn shit, people will forget how much of a failure you are when they see stuff on fire.
@Rollmaninoz: BREAKING NEWS: Man gets out of offending people by saying "present company excluded of course" after highly offensive statement
@Scott_A_Gilmore: Today's lunch: Pan fried pork chops, cheesy hash brown casserole, peach cobbler, a quick defibrillation and two stents.
@beefman138: Creature from outer space tries to elude financial officer who wants his money back. - Alien Vs Creditor.