@ManvAlcohol: I assume the Burning Bush was the Bible's first recorded STD.
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@DanMentos: [job interview] “any public speaking experience?” not since the valedictorian speech in high school “very impressive” I yelled 'YOU SUCK'
@david8hughes: [meeting aboard the ISS space station] Capt: all personnel are-David sit down please Me trying to open a window cos it's stuffy: in a minute
@internetluke: If Christian Bale has never cancelled a date and said "sorry to Bale on you" then I don't think he is living life to the fullest.