@TheCiscoKidder: I ate a banana so big that my Facebook relationship status automatically changed from "Married" to "It's Complicated."
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@Cheeseboy22: Sometimes when I'm sitting in a swivel chair, I'll turn around quickly and smile and pretend I'm in the opening credits of a sitcom
@jrhennessy: Folks, what's the deal with Stuart Little. Husband and wife go to an adoption agency and they give them a rat in a sweater. Surely illegal