@Schmoodles: I ate a big cheeseburger for lunch and my heart started going really fast, so I'm counting it as an hour at the gym.
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@graceful_asfuck: Me: oil change plz Toyota: it'll be $39 Me: cool heres my $2 off coupon 4 hrs later T: ur steering wheel fell off total is $2900 sign here
@jjhartinger: *i before e except after c. Unless you're an 8yo heir planning a heist to seize a surveillance sleigh owned by a sheik at a reindeer farm.
@garrettbarry70: *First date. Her. "Shall we carve our names onto this tree" Me. "You brought a knife?"
@annadrezen: My friend offered me a free pole dance class. I said no. With my debt, the last thing I need to find out is that I'm great at pole dancing.