@kylekinane: I ate a tomato slice off the carpet. And some lettuce. And some bleu cheese bits. And mushrooms. I'm saying I dropped my salad on the floor.
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@_ElvishPresley_: Bat 1: Do you ever think God made us blind so that we may see the world for what it truly is? Bat 2: (startled) who said that
@GayDeceiver: Meanwhile, in Facebook, Greta, who dislikes the gays, is about to get a big surprise from her son and his "roommate" of 20 years.
@delusions_of: I'm like a Rubik's Cube. Seems fun at first but eventually you'll want to rip me apart.