@GensPlace: I began writing full time 20 years ago. I've sold lots - my tv, my car, my jewellery...
@meganamram: "I" before "e" except after "Old MacDonald had a farm"
@fro_vo: [god creating the beetle]
what if a bee and a turtle had sex
@PeterClayton6: *buys shed at B&Q*
B&Q: Are you putting this up yourself?
Me: No, it's going in the garden.
B&Q: I can't help you anymore.
@TheRolo: Friends: Let's roll a fatty
Me: I have a name guys and pls don't
@wendyraepearce: If all my Facebook friends followed me on twitter, I'd be dragged to church for an exorcism.