@TheTweetOfGod: I believe meat is murder, vegetables are burglary, bread is mail fraud and dairy is impersonating a police officer.
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@Jake_Vig: THEM: What's it called when you think about them all the time? ME: Love. T: What if it's about murdering them all the time? M: Also love.
@1Happytwit: 6yo's can't go to jail so I have no idea why this one's refusing to drive me home from the pub.
@GrowlyGrego: Apostrophes are important. "I fed the dog" "I f'ed the dog" Learn this simple rule. Your friendship with Sarah McLachlan depends on it.
@hazelmotes1: Ladies, you should know that if I invite you to a movie I'm only after one thing: someone with a big purse I can store all my snacks in.