@PeteBlackburn: I bet Abraham Lincoln would rather go watch another play than watch this debate.
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@DevilryFun: Wish a poltergeist would move in so there'd be someone else to blame when I lose my shit.
@ArfMeasures: [court] LAWYER: Did u kill him? ME: No L: You know what the punishment is for committing perjury? ME [lips on the mic] Much less than murder
@RandomAntics: I'm told as a lady in my 30s I shouldn't wear certain things anymore - like halter tops, pigtails, and the scalps of my vanquished enemies.