@PeteBlackburn: I bet Abraham Lincoln would rather go watch another play than watch this debate.
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@SteveSuckington: ME: will it hurt? DR: u ever been stung by like, 500 bees? ME: omg no! DR: ok. that's not what it's gonna feel like. I was just wondering
@LuvPug: *posts selfie with full makeup and 3 filters* Caption: I'm so sick, I feel like dog crap & I look sooooo gross
@dumbbeezie: Me: He was choking. Seemed like he couldn't breathe Cop: Why didn't you help him Me: My dog was sleeping in my lap Cop: Totally understand