@donni: I bet ducks would love bananas if they knew about bananas.
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@slimmy_shady: Did you know that if you squint at a cat and it squints back, it's the cat's way of saying "What the f are you looking at?!"
@CruisinSoozan: You want to sext? *blushes* Ok, but I'm not very good at it. *frantically types* AS I WALK THROUGH THE VALLEY OF THE SHADOW OF DEATH...
@SirEviscerate: Me: I'm having a problem with my computer: IT guy: Have you tried punching it? Me: That's the first thing I tried. I'm not an idiot.