@donni: I bet ducks would love bananas if they knew about bananas.
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@Vodkantots: If he doesn't return your texts, it's because he's busy leaving his wife for you. Obviously.
@TheTweetOfGod: "Why are all the good ones either married, gay or the Son of God?" - Mary Magdalene.
@abbycohenwl: She: But WHY are you breaking up with me? Please tell me honestly. He (sigh): Ok It's...your "signature sex move" She: Judgmental Corpse?
@Crunk_Jews: So apparently when a woman asks what you're looking for in a relationship, "a way out" isn't the right answer.