@3sunzzz: *looking at a picture* Wow, you have beautiful children! Thank you, they came with the frame.

@daveexplosm: Ever since Facebook allowed images in their comments sections people only ever communicate via pictures. We're 21st-century cavemen.

@GoldenSpirals: I thought I might be pregnant. It turns out I'm just three months fat.

@junkfoodjourney: Haha! ????

@Home_Halfway: Whenever anyone asks me where I grew up I point to a random spot in the room and say "Over there."