@behindyourback: I bet the creator of the artificial heart is pretty pissed that we still use "sliced bread" as our basis for great inventions.
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@GreenishDuck: Hell is probably just thousands of tourists trying to take pictures of you walking a cat.
@EndhooS: Wife: He's just so literal all of the time, he gets so confused Psychiatrist: Is this true? Me: [worried] Are u really gonna make me shrink?
@TheRolo: If I check out your blog, what will you do for me? Love me? Ok fine, but you're telling my mom we're going out.