@TheMichaelRock: I bet the first person that heard a parrot talk really lost their shit.
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@FierceMess: Sleep deprivation- because sometimes you cant afford drugs or alcohol but still want to feel delusional and irrational.
@MentalAbortions: Why would I want to quit smoking? Oh, to live longer. Why would I want to live longer?
@TheFearBoners: I wouldn't let you touch me with a 10 foot pole! No seriously, why do you have a 10 foot pole?! THAT'S NOT NORMAL!
@Book_Krazy: Fitness coach: have you been exercising & doing push-ups? *Flashback to me running after the ice cream man & buying all the push-ups* "yes"