@AaronFullerton: I bet the frankincense guy was all like, "Let's put the three items in one gift basket and the basket can be from all of us."
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@AntozWolf: Give a man fish and you'll feed him for a day...... Give a fish a man and you're probably in the Mafia
@stephenjmolloy: [3rd date] Kate: You wanna come back to mine for coffee? Ian: Sure! Kate: Have you got any condoms? Ian: Do you not know how to make coffee?
@woodmuffin: "For my next illusion" the magician announces: "Free will!" Everyone starts clapping but they don't know why