@AaronFullerton: I bet the frankincense guy was all like, "Let's put the three items in one gift basket and the basket can be from all of us."
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@Chumpstring: SCIENTIST: the earth is dying ME: oh no how long do we have SCIENTIST: 8 maybe 9 months ME: so what you're saying is no more condoms
@MsFoxIfUrNasty: [housefly pilot training] Instructor: You encounter a window! What do you do? X: Test the same 3 spots for weakness? I: Repeatedly! Good.
@djdarrellripley: Going to church doesn't necessarily make you a nice person... It does, however, make you sleepy.
@sgothreau: What the hell Hollywood? I've never had to rub blood between my fingers to know that it's blood.