@illTortuga: I bet Usher shows everyone to their seats at his concerts.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@BuckyIsotope: My son just asked what erectile dysfunction is so I told him it's when your anaconda don't want none regardless of the presence of buns.
@VerifiedJayy: My gf said "tie me up and do what you want" so I duct taped her to the headboard and went to the bar
@gobmentcheese: I like to stand next to a stranger on the elevator and whisper, "I read what you said on the internet."
@Inconsteveable: Me: "Can I leave work half an hour early?" Boss: "Only if you make up the time." "OK. It's 35 past 50." Boss: "Just go.."