@illTortuga: I bet Usher shows everyone to their seats at his concerts.
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@KKAlThani: Laughter is the best medicine. Depression is the best food. Happiness is the best animal. I don't know since we're clearly making stuff up.
@JessObsess: I used to feel sorry for people eating lunch by themselves but now I feel sorry for the people eating lunch with other people.
@GuacamoleJesus: *at plastic surgeon's office* ME: Make me pretty. SURGEON: How about implants? ME: Naw. SURGEON: Filler? Me: No thanks. SURGEON: I can replace your arms with sharks. ME: You have my attention.
@Home_Halfway:  ME: I'm gonna tickle you! CAPTAIN: Hahaha come on stop ME: Tickle tickle! CAPTAIN: Haha stop it, I gotta drive this huge ship ME: Tickling you more! CAPTAIN: Hahahaha hold on hold on lemme get us around this iceberg