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@illTortuga: I bet Usher shows everyone to their seats at his concerts.
@SpicyGinger69: She ran her fingers through my hair and pulled hard. I wanted to ask her to do it harder - but probably inappropriate for the hair salon.
@nthall350: The iPhone 8 probably won't even have a phone in it.
@SoulYodeler: I just watched Bug's Life and cried the whole time I mowed the lawn.
@awkwardphilippe: [Pizza falls on the ground]
-Germ boss telling his minions not to jump on the pizza until it's been a full five seconds.
@yerpalmildsauce: WARDEN: You have been sentenced to the Electric Cher
ME: in the what now
*a metallic voice sings out: ＤＯ ＹＯＵ ＢＥＬＩＥＶＥ ＩＮ ＬＩＦＥ ＡＦＴＥＲ ＬＯＶＥ*