@illTortuga: I bet Usher shows everyone to their seats at his concerts.
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@Token_Geezer: Yeah, but I thought the whole point of twitter was to be stalked.nnThe word 'follower' should be evidence of that
@squirrel74wkgn: [at a party] *taps wife's shoulder* I've looked everywhere...where are all the swings? (wife pulls away from kissing Bob) "What?"
@dafloydsta: When a coworker says "This is all Greek to me", I always assume they want me to punch them right in their throatopolis.
@adamrensch: *accidentally walks into women's restroom* *plays it cool* *sits down* *finds comfort here* *changes name to Janice* *is alive* *is free*