@JermHimselfish: I bet when kittens go to work in kitten offices that there's always one kitten whose cubicle is decorated with pictures of lonely old ladies
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@vapidaccount: Thanks autocorrect...clearly "I am fantasy" is a better answer than "fantastic" when asked how I'm doing...
@rmfnord: "Release the Kraken!" ... "Well?" "We released him. He just took off. It's not like he was trained or anything." ... "Release the tuna!"
@upsidedowntrash: After a long journey Frodo and Sam arrive to return the One Ring to the fires of Mt. Doom Frodo: Dude dont be mad, but I forgot the receipt
@DanMentos: [first date] "so what do you do?" *thinking about the jar of coins I plan to use for new shrubs* I'm a hedge fund manager