@Weird_Rash: I blame our unhappy marriage on my wife mostly because of her poor choice in men.
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@PariCalvia: That moment when you leave a store but don't buy anything, and you're telling yourself, "act natural, you're innocent."
@Bad_Ass_Trucker: Women to the left of me Women to the right of me That's when I realized I was in the wrong bathroom
@SarcasticAlly12: Toddlers & Ghosts -haunt you at all hours -lots of moaning/screaming -unclear motives -not helpful with housework -randomly open cupboards
@JustDontBugMe: My refrigerator has an excessive amount of leftovers for someone that eats as much as I do.