@Weird_Rash: I blame our unhappy marriage on my wife mostly because of her poor choice in men.
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@GaryJanetti: Just saw you on the beach and think you might look better in something that covers you a bit more. Like your car.
@ConanOBrien: According to the 25th Amendment, if the President is incapacitated, the Vice President becomes the executive producer of “The Apprentice.”
@smilely_gal: 7 has started saying "your life just got better," whenever he enters the room; humility is not this kid's strong-suit.