@_little_old_me: I bought a pregnancy test so the cashier who always serves me when I'm by myself in my pjs, buying ice-cream & chips, thinks I have sex.
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@HolycrapitsaKat: *Someone compliments me* Me: *laughs* shut up! I am not, you lying piece of shit.
@haleysfalling: patrick henry: GIVE ME LIBERTY OR GIVE ME DEATH bad people: ok, death patrick henry: [turns around and whispers] guys this was not smart