@TySmithdrums: I bought a spray bottle to break my girlfriend of looking at her phone when I'm speaking. I hide it after use so she doesn't know who did it
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@ScottLinnen: Airport moving sidewalks are great for when you only want to feel like George Jetson for 10 seconds before you're back to Fred Flintstone.
@cambuslad: You know that pain which starts at your hip, runs down your leg, out the front door,and goes across the street to the bus stop... I've that.
@Playing_Dad: [At job interview] Manager: So, do you have any questions about the job? Me: Yeah, can I have it?
@RowdyBowden: Bouncy balls are super fun if you love to play with something very briefly, then spend 45 minutes looking for it in a shrub.