@xoCAMILLAxo: I bought a toilet brush at the store the other day but it kind of hurts so I think I'll go back to paper!
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@texasstalkermom: How many beer trucks can you "accidentally" run into before your insurance company becomes suspicious?
@XplodingUnicorn: Me: *explains idea* Boss: That's the dumbest idea ever Me:*clears throat* *repeats exact same idea in a British accent* Boss: Brilliant!
@Jake_Vig: INTERVIEWER: According to your resume, you like to "move it move it." ME: That's correct. I: It goes on like for... 30 pages. M: And?