@xoCAMILLAxo: I bought a toilet brush at the store the other day but it kind of hurts so I think I'll go back to paper!
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@SarcasticCharm: Drank enough whiskey to talk the husband into a Titanic reenactment. He's laying in the snow and I won't share the picnic table with him.
@boxergraphix: #Itssocoldthat..A streaker froze in mid-streak! The town council just stuck a plaque on him and pretended he was a Greek statue until spring
@LuckoftheDraw86: I'm gonna date the first guy to come out of this "Free STD Screenings!" van. #goodplan
@XplodingUnicorn: I had abstinence-only sex education when I was in high school. It was called Dungeons and Dragons.