@xoCAMILLAxo: I bought a toilet brush at the store the other day but it kind of hurts so I think I'll go back to paper!
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@LaptopShopWH: When the atm charges you 3.50 to take out your own money but tells you to cover your pin so you don't get robbed
@hipstermermaid: "My desires are... unconventional." "Show me." *opens door to a room full of memes*
@JLazySAngus: Naming a dog after alcohol is cute until they run away and you scream their name until your neighbor brings you a bottle to shut you up.
@hipstermermaid: I just want a time machine so I can show up at the Salem witch trials with an iPad.