@Royceda59: I bought condoms. Cashier asked if I needed a bag, I said no she's not that ugly RT @HeroinHadley:Tweet something inspirational. I need it.
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@SonOfCha: I would be a terrible stalker because A) not motivated enough 7) you would always hear the rattle of peanut m&ms behind you.
@bornmiserable: "Where do escalators come from?" "Well, when an Escalade and an alligator love each other very much..."
@_ElvishPresley_: Me: I'm sort of a chicken magnet Him: Don't you mean chick magn- *sounds of distant bawk-bawking* Me: We have to go NOW