@TheRealAnchovy: I bought my dog a toy cell phone, now it takes him 45 minutes to shit.
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@bobvulfov: [i get run over by a bus] MEDIA: flattened idiot has troubled past, has written over 600 pages of sexualized shrek fan fiction
@ilovepie84: Interesting that the homeless population is down and now there is a big sale of unlabeled meat at the grocery store.
@J0hnnyBlaze: If she didn't reply to any of your 20 texts, she probably doesn't have good cell service. Definitely don't stop texting her