@LizHackett: I just want to be wealthy enough to leave notes for the house-sitter like "If the puma seems restless, let him splash in the Jacuzzi a bit."

@StellaRtwot: It's always cool to swallow your pride unless you're a lion. Lol

@weinerdog4life: You are all invited to my murder shed, I mean my shed

@HeyZeus666: I’d never snoop through my girlfriend’s phone out of love, a deep respect and the inability to crack her password.

@sofarrsogud: Of all the things we should be thankful for at this time of year, not being a turkey is probably the main one.