@jimmytorosian: I bring giant stuffed animals into carnivals so when I walk around people will think that I am good at something.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@ValeeGrrl: Taught daughter to make toast & she already knows how to do boxed Mac n cheese so now she's all caught up to my level of culinary prowess.
@TheMichaelRock: The average family income has gone up 2% while the cost of living has increased 23%. - Me explaining to my son why he can't have a sister.
@miss_foofoo: I never understood why people get buried in suits. When I die bury me in my PJ's. If I'm gonna be sleeping that long I wanna be comfortable.
@Alex_N_Chains: I had my appendix taken out as a child. They said it was useless, but based on my life since then, I'm guessing it controls motivation.