@FrenulumBreve: [at the zoo]
Llama spits in my face
I spit in llamas face
Llama slaps me
I grab llamas hair
Scuffle ensues
Llamas gf shouts "leave it Gary!"
@Whitnuts: CLOSE THE DOOR, YOU'RE LETTING ALL THE WIFI OUT
@DulciePlaid: When I left for work this morning, the dog begged me to stay and the cat handed me my keys.
@starwarsshirt: I don't have jealousy issues, but I do have "flirt with my boyfriend one more time and I may have to cut you" issues.
@WoodyLuvsCoffee: Therapist: You have passive aggressive issues.
Me (under my breath): says the woman who only listens to my troubles because I pay her.
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