@seamussaid: I bring my own pen into the bank because I don't need any god dammed chains telling me where I can and cannot write
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@LOsepyan: If you play a NIickelback song backwards you'll hear messages from the illuminant.Even worse, if you play it forward you'll hear NIickelback
@InternetHippo: If all millennials suddenly died the next day’s article would be “How millennials are driving up funeral costs”
@hipstermermaid: "My desires are... unconventional." "Show me." *opens door to a room full of memes*
@daemonic3: HIM: Happy birthday, honey! I got you a gift basket, just like you wanted HER: Oh thanks! What's in it? HIM: What do you mean, "in it"?