@seamussaid: I bring my own pen into the bank because I don't need any god dammed chains telling me where I can and cannot write
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@dafloydsta: [job interview] "Tell me about yourself" *flashback to when I used hand towels mom said are specifically for guests* I'm a risk taker
@leahlovescheez: My gynecologist recognized me at the grocery store, so I guess I need to start wearing longer skirts.
@juanadog: Pointed out my kids real dad to them at the car wash today. None of us are sure if I'm kidding.