@ilovepie84: I broke into your house and slept under your bed all night to protect you from the perverts out there.
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@jus4golf: How many of you have awakened with your spouse holding your hand only to find they are putting your thumb on your iPhone trying to break in?
@Jerrypleasure: [Restaurant] Date: I like guys who plan ahead Me: If you die early, I'll marry my ex
@BigBagOfScum: A fun thing to do is comment "that ain't the girl you were with at the bar the other night" on all my married friends Facebook family photos