@michaeljhudson: I brought a t-shirt cannon to a knife fight. Everyone dropped their knives to catch their own piece of WNBA history.
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@jdforshort: There are some problems in life that can be solved with chocolate....others require a full clip and a shovel.
@13spencer: Katy Perry says that god spoke to her before the Super Bowl and said “you got this,” so it’s safe to say that god has crappy taste in music.
@michaelianblack: How come my wife can't hold her bladder for more than three hours but she can hold a grudge for fourteen years?