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@Marlebean: I call all my kids "baby" so I don't confuse their names...
Like a playa
@ziamalso: Not to spoil the eclipse for y'all but Bella chooses Edward lol
@apparentlysmart: Lois Lane was fired from the Daily Planet after she knocked Clark Kent's glasses off and then panicked thinking a plane was in the building.
@ericsshadow: ME: [sitting in kitchen writing out bills]
SON: I lost a tooth. I'm gonna leave it under my pillow tonight.
ME: I'd wait until next week.
@DanMentos: My Shakespeare brings all the boys to the yard
And they're like
We're gonna kick your ass fancy boy
@DothTheDoth: Hungover? Hydrate. Anxious? Hydrate. Want to advance Satan’s agenda here on Earth? Hydrate.