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@Marlebean: I call all my kids "baby" so I don't confuse their names...
Like a playa
@schmittsteve: [Turing Test]
Tester: Let's start with an easy one, the square root of 29241?
Subject: I meant, idk math is hard. lol
@UtilityLimb: some tweets get big favs but no RTs. why? [camera pans to dog in lab coat high up on a distant ledge. we're too far away to hear his answer]
@KeetPotato: [guy driving the same kia waves as he passes us]
son: why did that man wave at you
me: because we've both made the same mistakes in life son
@JessObsess: [drunk text] God I miss you so much. Why can't we go back to how things were?
OBAMA: How did you get this number?
@TheTimmyToes: If I were a literary character, I would be the grandpa in Charlie & The Chocolate Factory that doesn't get to go