@robfee: I call bs on the Ninja Turtles having those ripped abs. No way you could do crunches with a shell attached to your back. Trust me Ive tried.
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@OutOfLeftField_: The Police asked me to make a statement so I stripped naked and ran around the precinct shouting, "Save the whales!"
@david8hughes: [son's football game] Other dad: which one's yours? Me: I can't remember. I just wait for him in the car when the games over
@koalaslament: DATING TIP: show her your hula hoop skills. keep adding hula hoops. you're now a slinky. everybody loves a slinky.