@robfee: I call bs on the Ninja Turtles having those ripped abs. No way you could do crunches with a shell attached to your back. Trust me Ive tried.
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@jwoodham: GRADUATION TIP: Don't graduate! The real world is terrifying. Hide out in the library. They can't make you leave if they can't find you!
@celebrityhottub: I'm on a plane with the dad from Home Alone and it's taking all my strength to not scream "WE FORGOT KEVIN!"
@mellimelle: Just because I'm Irish doesn't mean I am always drunk. It means I always want to be.
@Bearslietoo: A good sign that you're not ready for children is if you cut your food with a credit card.