@TheBoydP: I can eat anything in the house unless it was specifically bought for my wife but the only way to know it's for her is to eat it. Apparently
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@StaceyShortcake: The last time I was 100% sure about a decision was in 3rd grade, and that box of 64 crayons with the built in sharpener didn't disappoint.
@AimeeHelene1: (Gamblers Anonymous meeting) Leader: Bob, tell us why you're here. Me: $20 it's a Blackjack addiction. Group: *all rushing to place bets*
@Crunk_Jews: Apparently, you still fail a roadside sobriety test if you just lay down and take a nap.